Dulhan Banu Mein Teri,
Have been helping a loved one with her search for a life-mate and is turning to be quite an eyeopener for me.Not that I did not know about these nitty-gritties of arranged marriages but experiencing all of them from close quarters now.
The concept of arranged marriages seems quite daunting to me.Especially the kind of long distance fix-ups that are done these days.
As a kid I was always told that both girls and boys are equals. I lived with that utopian idealism for a surprisingly long time.Today this myth stands dispelled and the mind wonders how much has really changed in the marriage market?
A look at some matrimonial sites is all one need to get a reality check. Girls,with amazing educational qualifications,very good jobs, and well travelled and abundant today.They radiate so much confidence and sense of self pride.It is so heartening to see that the face of Indian women is changing exponentially.
But can we say that about the Indian males? The more I look at the expectations column of a male profile the more I feel that the Indian male is yet bound by the shackles of age-old beliefs.Almost as if most of them missed the train to liberal thinking.
Fair,Slim,Beautiful,Traditional,Good-house maker,educated and the list goes on.It is amazing how many men want a wife with educational qualifications like Engineers and CA's and then want them to be house makers.How just is that? Why care about the education? Is it just a prestige issue ,for talk at social and family gatherings?
I have also noticed a huge ego issue where a boy ,just because he is in the US thinks that his wife must be a replica of Aishwarya rai!After all,she is so "lucky" that she gets to come to US because of him! I am left shocked at their immaturity and lack of respect for the women folk.
I feel sad for girls who have to get pictures of themselves in the typical-matrimonial poses and even worse ,get them soft touched or brightened by a photographer.I mean all these girls armed with an MBA and all and then having to be treated as a object, must be terribly demeaning.
A friend of mine told me this horrific news that even today there is a concept of dowry in some communities.Infact depending upon the education of the guy the "rates" increase and a guy in US can get close to 50 lks in Dowry!!
How utterly shameful is this!!!!!Do guys feel ashamed of this or is it just another ego-booster to them?When will India be a place where a girl child is not a burden?Where the boy is not the king chosing the fairest among 50 photos? When will girls stand up for themselves? When will marriages happen more for love and less for security and society?
One can just wait!
posted by Rupali_Srivastava at
11:14 AM
7 Comments:
Most men are dumbasses when it comes to finding a soul-mate. Marrying a smarter woman is so rewarding and liberating.
can there be some platform where girls could choose guys instead of the fuddy duddies carried till date..it would be interesting to read the profile of guys and girls chosing the preferred one!
On a serious note, it is indeed the hypocrisy that we symbolize..we want girls armed with all the degrees in the world and expect them to stay at home!!
concept of dowry in 'some communities'?!! its more like 'most communities'
and yes, itll be a long time before it changes to some communities. a rather long time.
nice blog :) change the background though, its very difficult to read...
well said. Girls are still looked as objects who are at the receiving end in a marriage.
And it is really difficult to say when this would end in India. Difficult because education dosent seems to be complete solution as the educated ones are not showing a total shift.
but definitely Education is one thing that has atleast improved the situation by a few percentages.
btw thansk rupali for visiting my blog.
To be honest i also right down things everyday on a paper to be done the next day but following that besides getting the unexpected tasks is equally daunting.
Hmmm...i'd say the burden of change lies on the women.
After all, men have nothing to lose by not changing, do they? They can have a beautiful, educated trophy wife as a homemaker who'd bring loads of cash as dowry, while they sit in front of the tv on their asses & munch chips all day!
Hi I cam in Blog Hopping ... courtesy Dewaker ...
On the post: All the five fingers in a hand are not equal.
About the Template:
The template is cool ... *Gives a thumbs Up*
About the Blog:
Kind try adding apt "Titles" to your post.
Hey all
Thanks for the lovely comments about the matter and format of my blog
Thanks for visiting
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home